Love never dies. I know this because I breathe it. Love is the oxygen of life. When I first read scroll II it made me cry profusely. It touched my soul. It brought to light a truth I live by. Love is powerful. It conquers all. If not for love, I would not know grief, for in the torment of grief I know my love is alive.
Last night I walked up to the bar to get more water during Open Mic Night. My friend Henry was sitting there. What a fabulous musician. He is a gentle soul, always sweet and kind and he always smiles back at me. “I like your scarf,” he said. It’s my favorite scarf. It has blue butterflies all over it. I thanked him and told him how I loved butterflies. He told me he loved all bugs. I laughed and said “Bugs are people too.” Then I told him my blue butterfly story.
Six years ago I was at a lake with my son. I sat by myself as I watched my son have a wonderful time jumping off platforms into the lake with his friends. As I was watching them, a blue butterfly landed on my hand, just inches from my face. I was so amazed. It seemed as though time stood still. The butterfly was so beautiful. He lifted his wings and they were orange underneath. He touched my hand again and again with his proboscis. Perhaps he liked the salty taste but it felt like butterfly kisses to me. He stayed there for along time then flew away, but not before I was able to get some photos with my other hand. Henry listened intently. I went on with my story.
Soon my son and his friends came to me tired and hungry, so went on our way. As I was driving home my Mom called to say my brother had passed away. He left this earth. I felt my heart crack wide open. I couldn’t breathe. I rushed to Pennsylvania as fast as I could to be with my Mom. There were friends there. As we talked I suddenly remembered the amazing blue butterfly and told how it landed on my hand just a couple hours before. Then someone said the butterfly was my brother coming to say good-bye. It was at that moment, I believed it was my brother coming to bid his last farewell and to let me know that everything was going to be okay. Ever since that day butterflies have been dear to my heart. Henry looked at me and said he totally believed it was my brother too. He thanked me for sharing my story with him. He also said when ever I saw him I always had a smile for him. That made me feel really good inside. It was so nice to spend a quiet moment with a friend, sharing my thoughts as he genuinely listened to what I had to say.
This morning I received the tragic news that Henry lost his life last night after leaving the bar. He had a horrible car accident. He is gone. I will never get to see him again. I will never get to smile at him again. Today is his 29th birthday and I just can’t make any sense out of anything. I just know that he left behind a lot of broken hearts, including mine.
Loss is so unbearable. In spite of it we have to keep going, keep breathing, keep smiling through the tears. I will take my love and comfort my friends who are grieving. I will love them more because we share the same pain. I will hug them. I will cry with them. I will pray for them. We will pay a great tribute to Henry with our love, our music and our sorrow.
Dear Henry, we all love you. Thank you for listening last night. Thank you for the beautiful music you made. I will miss you until we meet again in heaven. I wish I could have saved you.