Why do I wait? Why do I hesitate? Some times it is because I don’t know where to start, yet I fully realize it is that doubt in the back of my head. I give it clearance to stay wedged in my mind and it renders me immobile. That doubt tells me I can’t do it. There are other things I should be doing. Don’t bother trying to be better, just keep existing. There I sit, wanting to move on, but I feel paralyzed. In order to defeat doubt I think only thoughts that will benefit myself and everyone I meet. That is not an easy task. I sometimes give myself free rein to the negative. Why? I digress and drift backwards.
I must forge ahead with a mission, as I would face a white winter storm on a cold and lonely night. As I put my head down and push through the howling wind, I wonder if I bit off more than I can chew. So here perhaps, is the fork in the road. Everything was going along slowly but surely. Then I came to that fork. Do I keep going or do I retreat? Should I let something go? Am I headed for a collision?
No, it’s just that little devil on my shoulder trying to gain control.
I know if I retreat I will have failed my mission. I can not fail. I will not. I am still fighting my way through this blog so it must mean that I have chosen to keep going. Okay, that’s my decision. I want to keep going because quitting is not an option.
I know I have the power to accomplish anything I put my mind to. There is no reason to doubt myself. Instead of being fearful of anything I concentrate my thoughts on achieving my dharma, my desires, my purpose in life. It may be a challenging task, but I am up for it. You see, I have lived this life of more than 50 years with as much grace as I knew how to muster at each given moment in time. Sometimes I was not so graceful. Sometimes I wiped out. Sometimes I gave up. Not this time. I keep forging ahead and I know the storm will dissipate. The sun will come out. I will feel it warm my heart. I must talk myself into it, not only talk, but act. Nothing will get accomplished if I don’t act on it.
The affirmation from Haanel, lesson 9, “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy,” clearly states my intention. It is what I want for my family, and loved ones. In order to inspire them I must keep going. What inspiration is there in backing down? I can not find harmony if I give up.
I complete this blog knowing I will immediately go pick up my guitar and sing ‘Emerson.’ This song was inspired by the Master Key Experience. Every time I sing it, I find myself in a place of peace. When you are feeling overwhelmed go find your special place. Linger there for a while and know you are love. Then come out, state your intention, and know that you are all powerful. You can achieve whatever it is your heart desires.
Love Noelle Suzanne